Design a Home That Brings Your Family Together
Whether challenging each other at chess or gardening together, your family will become closer if you configure your house to suit bonding
George Bernard Shaw is quoted as saying: “A happy family is but an earlier heaven,” and so right he was. A family, however you define it, is often essential to our wellbeing at both a personal and societal level. Families provide security, love and support. And this feeds our souls. But, let’s face it, maintaining a close family is not always easy. Like anything worthwhile, it takes time, perseverance and a good dose of humour. One of the most crucial elements to healthy family life is connection. We need to spend time with each other to build bonds and nurture relationships. Parenting experts, from Dr Spock to Dr William Sears, preach the importance of attachment between parents and children. In our busy western world, it can be difficult to carve out the time necessary to create these strong bonds, but there are many ways we can use our home to facilitate this. Take a look at the rooms below to see how they have been used or styled to provide an environment conducive to interactive family life.
If you do have enough space for a full-blown games room, consider getting a pool or ping pong table. As children grow up and move away from toys, they’re more likely to engage in these types of activities and they can be really useful in fostering a relationship.
When I was teaching, we had an inservice with a psychologist who recommended talking with teens in the car – you were together, but didn’t necessarily have to maintain eye contact. She said this enabled them to have the mental space to open up. Shooting pool or ping pong is a similar situation and provides a perfect opportunity for a nice chat. It also gets them away from screens.
If you can’t manage a games table (they’re not small, or cheap for that matter), many portable versions are now available that can temporarily convert a regular dining table into a games table.
Indoor family games
When I was teaching, we had an inservice with a psychologist who recommended talking with teens in the car – you were together, but didn’t necessarily have to maintain eye contact. She said this enabled them to have the mental space to open up. Shooting pool or ping pong is a similar situation and provides a perfect opportunity for a nice chat. It also gets them away from screens.
If you can’t manage a games table (they’re not small, or cheap for that matter), many portable versions are now available that can temporarily convert a regular dining table into a games table.
Indoor family games
A library (or any room with a couple of bookcases)
One of the most important predictors of a child’s literacy level is whether they see their parents reading. So, take a visit to the local library with the family, bring home some great, age-appropriate books and snuggle up in a quiet room in the house and read together. Showing your kids how much you love literature really promotes their love, too. It’s also a good opportunity for bonding. Some fabulous family books are the Junie B. Jones series, The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane (don’t forget the tissues with that one), Harry Potter, the Little House series, and anything by Dr Seuss or Roald Dahl.
One of the most important predictors of a child’s literacy level is whether they see their parents reading. So, take a visit to the local library with the family, bring home some great, age-appropriate books and snuggle up in a quiet room in the house and read together. Showing your kids how much you love literature really promotes their love, too. It’s also a good opportunity for bonding. Some fabulous family books are the Junie B. Jones series, The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane (don’t forget the tissues with that one), Harry Potter, the Little House series, and anything by Dr Seuss or Roald Dahl.
The whole house
Playing games doesn’t have to be restricted to a games room or the dining room table. There are some fabulous games to be played through the whole house. Kids love hide and seek, but to really bring the family close (and I mean literally), there’s nothing like a game of sardines. For those who don’t know, sardines is the opposite of hide and seek. One person hides while everybody else counts. They then separate and go in search of the person hiding. When they find him or her, they squash into the hiding spot and wait for each of the others to find them. As more people join in the hiding spot, it becomes harder and harder to keep quiet and control the giggles. It’s especially fun when the smallest member chooses a tight hiding spot and Mum and Dad have to virtually fold themselves in half to fit in. Nothing makes a child laugh more than seeing their parents stuffed into the bottom of a closet.
A home set up for playtime
Playing games doesn’t have to be restricted to a games room or the dining room table. There are some fabulous games to be played through the whole house. Kids love hide and seek, but to really bring the family close (and I mean literally), there’s nothing like a game of sardines. For those who don’t know, sardines is the opposite of hide and seek. One person hides while everybody else counts. They then separate and go in search of the person hiding. When they find him or her, they squash into the hiding spot and wait for each of the others to find them. As more people join in the hiding spot, it becomes harder and harder to keep quiet and control the giggles. It’s especially fun when the smallest member chooses a tight hiding spot and Mum and Dad have to virtually fold themselves in half to fit in. Nothing makes a child laugh more than seeing their parents stuffed into the bottom of a closet.
A home set up for playtime
A home theatre
Jerry Seinfeld said, “There’s no such thing as fun for the whole family.” Now, it’s not often that I disagree with Mr Seinfeld, but I take issue with this statement. Watching movies is something that everyone can do together and enjoy. Sure, there has to be a little give and take in the movie selection department, but there’s nothing more universally enjoyable than cuddling up on the sofa with a big bowl of popcorn, a blanket and a classic movie. With everyone so engaged in the big screen, the kids may not even bicker with each other. Yippee!
Jerry Seinfeld said, “There’s no such thing as fun for the whole family.” Now, it’s not often that I disagree with Mr Seinfeld, but I take issue with this statement. Watching movies is something that everyone can do together and enjoy. Sure, there has to be a little give and take in the movie selection department, but there’s nothing more universally enjoyable than cuddling up on the sofa with a big bowl of popcorn, a blanket and a classic movie. With everyone so engaged in the big screen, the kids may not even bicker with each other. Yippee!
The backyard
Time outdoors is great for the soul. Fresh air clears the cobwebs and provides a bit of necessary space for energetic children. It also disperses sound so kids can finally use that ‘outside voice’ they’re so fond of using inside. This can only be a good thing for parents who want to be with their kids, but need the volume turned down on the noise those kids make. Or is that just me?
One of the things my family loves to do outside is play piggy in the corner. You basically set out chairs in a circle or square (one less than the number of people playing) and ‘piggy’ stands in the middle. The people sitting have to swap chairs with each other by communicating through silent gestures that ‘piggy’ doesn’t see. For each successful swap they get a point. If ‘piggy’ beats them to the chair, then that person becomes the new ‘piggy’. It’s hard not to have a laugh as people try to trick each other into switching chairs – they agree to trade and one runs back to their own chair, leaving the other person stuck while ‘piggy’ grabs theirs. Ah, good times.
Time outdoors is great for the soul. Fresh air clears the cobwebs and provides a bit of necessary space for energetic children. It also disperses sound so kids can finally use that ‘outside voice’ they’re so fond of using inside. This can only be a good thing for parents who want to be with their kids, but need the volume turned down on the noise those kids make. Or is that just me?
One of the things my family loves to do outside is play piggy in the corner. You basically set out chairs in a circle or square (one less than the number of people playing) and ‘piggy’ stands in the middle. The people sitting have to swap chairs with each other by communicating through silent gestures that ‘piggy’ doesn’t see. For each successful swap they get a point. If ‘piggy’ beats them to the chair, then that person becomes the new ‘piggy’. It’s hard not to have a laugh as people try to trick each other into switching chairs – they agree to trade and one runs back to their own chair, leaving the other person stuck while ‘piggy’ grabs theirs. Ah, good times.
Backyard sports
Get out that lawnmower and carve out a cricket pitch in the backyard for summer. If you’re not into cricket, try some touch footy, soccer, badminton or even bocce. Joining the kids in some backyard sports improves their skills and fosters a love of exercise and healthy living. All you need is a bit of space and a couple of sports. Even if you only have a small verandah, you can still squeeze in a game of handball.
Get out that lawnmower and carve out a cricket pitch in the backyard for summer. If you’re not into cricket, try some touch footy, soccer, badminton or even bocce. Joining the kids in some backyard sports improves their skills and fosters a love of exercise and healthy living. All you need is a bit of space and a couple of sports. Even if you only have a small verandah, you can still squeeze in a game of handball.
A vegetable garden
This is another place that can really bring families together. Many children love planting and tending to gardens – and if they get to eat the fruits of their labour, all the better. You don’t need a huge backyard for this either, as there are many herbs and vegetables that do well in small spaces. If you do have a backyard, raised vegie beds are perfect and look fabulous, too. There are many companies in Australia that now supply the beds and the seedlings for inexperienced gardeners. Some are even tailored specifically for children.
This is another place that can really bring families together. Many children love planting and tending to gardens – and if they get to eat the fruits of their labour, all the better. You don’t need a huge backyard for this either, as there are many herbs and vegetables that do well in small spaces. If you do have a backyard, raised vegie beds are perfect and look fabulous, too. There are many companies in Australia that now supply the beds and the seedlings for inexperienced gardeners. Some are even tailored specifically for children.
The kitchen
When you’ve harvested all those yummy vegies from the garden, another great place to spend time together is in the kitchen. Unfortunately, we haven’t always been successful with this in my house (my multi-tasking skills aren’t up to cooking, supervising, teaching and remaining patient as caster sugar is sprinkled across the floor and then licked up by my desperado children). I’m told this is easier the more organised you are in the kitchen. Maybe a cute table installed next to or on the other side of the kitchen island bench (away from the stove) could help to give a small child their own work surface. Alternatively, offer them a step stool. Kids really do love to cook and with the popularity of cooking shows on television at the moment, this interest is only growing.
Cooking with children
When you’ve harvested all those yummy vegies from the garden, another great place to spend time together is in the kitchen. Unfortunately, we haven’t always been successful with this in my house (my multi-tasking skills aren’t up to cooking, supervising, teaching and remaining patient as caster sugar is sprinkled across the floor and then licked up by my desperado children). I’m told this is easier the more organised you are in the kitchen. Maybe a cute table installed next to or on the other side of the kitchen island bench (away from the stove) could help to give a small child their own work surface. Alternatively, offer them a step stool. Kids really do love to cook and with the popularity of cooking shows on television at the moment, this interest is only growing.
Cooking with children
The dining room
Eating a family meal together is crucial. Even if it can’t happen every day, it’s really important to come together as much as possible. The dinner table is the perfect venue to debrief and keep up to date with everybody. My family enjoys playing a game called ‘highs and lows’, where we each take turns describing the best and worst things that happened in our day. It’s much better than getting the inevitable one-word answer from a child who is asked, “How was your day?” It also encourages kids to think about others and the problems they may have faced, and, as a result, encourages empathy.
Eating a family meal together is crucial. Even if it can’t happen every day, it’s really important to come together as much as possible. The dinner table is the perfect venue to debrief and keep up to date with everybody. My family enjoys playing a game called ‘highs and lows’, where we each take turns describing the best and worst things that happened in our day. It’s much better than getting the inevitable one-word answer from a child who is asked, “How was your day?” It also encourages kids to think about others and the problems they may have faced, and, as a result, encourages empathy.
To make the most of dinner time, make sure the focus is on communication. There are a number of ways to do this:
- Place the chairs and tables in positions that encourage conversation. Make sure that everyone can maintain eye contact. Flowers in the middle of the table are beautiful, but they might provide camouflage for a grunting teen to hide behind.
- Put the screens away. It’s great practice to turn off phones and iPads and anything else that might beep at you during dinner. Make sure the kids know that they have your full attention. They will appreciate your commitment and it will set a great precedence for when they are older. They’re more likely to put down their phones if you’ve shown them how to do it and set a good example.
- Turn off the TV. This is where I should climb on to my very own high horse and ramble on about how important it is to have a television-free meal. I really believe this – most of the time. However, I have to confess, my family are in the throes of a full-blown addiction to Masterchef. It still feels like good family time as we drool over the beautiful meals and argue about who deserves to be the winner. Plus, it only lasts a couple of months, right? Hmmm…
A blackboard
If you can’t always be together physically, a large blackboard or pin board can keep the communication flowing between family members and will ensure everyone is in synch with each other. These are great for writing sweet little messages to each other, keeping track of each other’s schedules and fostering self expression. It might just keep littlies from drawing on the walls, too.
Ways to use chalkboard paint
If you can’t always be together physically, a large blackboard or pin board can keep the communication flowing between family members and will ensure everyone is in synch with each other. These are great for writing sweet little messages to each other, keeping track of each other’s schedules and fostering self expression. It might just keep littlies from drawing on the walls, too.
Ways to use chalkboard paint
A craft room
I don’t really do any crafts. I can’t knit, I can’t sew and hot glue guns make me nervous, but is there anything more alluring than a craft room? I’m a bit obsessed with them and find myself trawling through Houzz searching them out before I even realise I’ve typed in ‘creative spaces’. There’s something so decadent, yet simple, about having a whole area of the house dedicated to a favourite pastime. I mean, look at this sewing room? The whole family could sit around together designing and creating with each other. Imagine the Easter bonnets you could whip up in a room like this one.
Creative craft spaces
I don’t really do any crafts. I can’t knit, I can’t sew and hot glue guns make me nervous, but is there anything more alluring than a craft room? I’m a bit obsessed with them and find myself trawling through Houzz searching them out before I even realise I’ve typed in ‘creative spaces’. There’s something so decadent, yet simple, about having a whole area of the house dedicated to a favourite pastime. I mean, look at this sewing room? The whole family could sit around together designing and creating with each other. Imagine the Easter bonnets you could whip up in a room like this one.
Creative craft spaces
Make a room multipurpose
If you have the space in your home and fancy a hobby room, create a space that can accommodate a number of interests, so that everyone can work on their own projects at the same time, admiring and advising each other as they go. A big table in the middle of a room could be used for homework, drawing, painting, gift wrapping, designing and, well …almost anything.
If you have the space in your home and fancy a hobby room, create a space that can accommodate a number of interests, so that everyone can work on their own projects at the same time, admiring and advising each other as they go. A big table in the middle of a room could be used for homework, drawing, painting, gift wrapping, designing and, well …almost anything.
A music room
Music is a beautiful hobby to facilitate in a home. Family band, anyone? Get the kids to learn different instruments and practise the same song together. Whether you watch them or join them on the microphone, this is a lovely family activity. If you’re all tone deaf, you can just crank up the tunes on the stereo and have a family dance. What about blowing off some steam at the end of the week with a family disco? Each child could curate a station on internet radio like Pandora or Spotify and take turns being the DJ. Dancing is such a fun, stress reliever and as Gloria Estefan rightly said, “the rhythm is going to get you”.
Music is a beautiful hobby to facilitate in a home. Family band, anyone? Get the kids to learn different instruments and practise the same song together. Whether you watch them or join them on the microphone, this is a lovely family activity. If you’re all tone deaf, you can just crank up the tunes on the stereo and have a family dance. What about blowing off some steam at the end of the week with a family disco? Each child could curate a station on internet radio like Pandora or Spotify and take turns being the DJ. Dancing is such a fun, stress reliever and as Gloria Estefan rightly said, “the rhythm is going to get you”.
Decorate the house
When all else fails, jump onto Houzz together and teach your kids a love of home design. It can be a bonding experience, working with your kids to decorate their rooms and family spaces. By listening to their ideas and seeing their likes and dislikes, you get an idea of what interests them and what’s important to them.
When all else fails, jump onto Houzz together and teach your kids a love of home design. It can be a bonding experience, working with your kids to decorate their rooms and family spaces. By listening to their ideas and seeing their likes and dislikes, you get an idea of what interests them and what’s important to them.
A quiet space
When you’ve played some games, watched a movie and done the gardening together, it might be time for some well-earned rest. Grab some meditation cushions or some yoga mats and teach your kids the art of mindfulness. Not only will you enjoy the quiet, but they’ll be learning the importance of staying in the present moment and the joy of gratitude. Maybe they’ll have time to absorb what a fabulous family they belong to and nurture thankfulness for all the time and effort you put into family life.
TELL US
What do you think of these ideas? Let us how you bring your family together at home in the Comments.
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When you’ve played some games, watched a movie and done the gardening together, it might be time for some well-earned rest. Grab some meditation cushions or some yoga mats and teach your kids the art of mindfulness. Not only will you enjoy the quiet, but they’ll be learning the importance of staying in the present moment and the joy of gratitude. Maybe they’ll have time to absorb what a fabulous family they belong to and nurture thankfulness for all the time and effort you put into family life.
TELL US
What do you think of these ideas? Let us how you bring your family together at home in the Comments.
MORE
Are Your Children Missing Out on Child’s Play?
De-Stress Your Kids by Organising Your Home
Mind Your Business: 14 Executive Tactics for a Smooth-Running Home
Is there any better way to teach sportsmanship, patience and self-restraint than by playing a board game with a family full of mixed ages? At least that’s what I tell myself when my son hurls a dice at his sister’s head because he didn’t get a six. He’s learning sportsmanship, she’s learning patience and I’m learning self-restraint. It’s a win/win/win.
Seriously though, playing old-fashioned board games can be loads of fun for the family, and laughter is crucial for establishing a happy family life.
We are currently addicted to one called Pass the Bomb. You have to pass around a plastic ‘bomb’ and create words from a few letters on a card before it explodes. The person holding the bomb when it goes off is out. It’s hysterical to watch as kids (and some adults) try to cheat with non-existent words and throw the bomb around quickly to try to get others out.
It’s wonderful if you can have a dedicated space to play games. Leaving them out and accessible means you’re more likely to play them. However, any table in the house can be useful. An after-dinner game of monopoly, anyone?